Fearful

Tearing at the seams
Fraying at the edges
My heart is breaking
There is no stopping
I tried just pausing
But it is inevitable
Grief always engulfing me
Eyes brim with tears
Its just too much
My mind is spinning
Try to make sense
Of all the loss
And the many reasons
For this pain again
It never really ends
Unsure when it began
Wish it never was
Mind in constant confusion
Heart swollen with pain
Cant stop this feeling
Losing all that's sane
Angry, sad and hurting
Fearful, broken and ashamed
That you no longer
Love any of me
And your brilliant smile
Is all for show
Until I am gone
Then you will leave
And I'll be alone
But will it be
More lonely than now?