Sleep escaped me again last night. I tossed and turned and slept that awful twilight sleep, hearing all the shooting on Black Ops and the Art of War was deafening. I guess you didn't hear I had a migraine? Maybe you don't know it makes me sensitive to light and sound and makes my stomach in knots. I'm glad you had a good time last night. I support anything you decide to do so long as it is something different from before. I stayed up with you later than I should, later than I told you I would since you seemed so interested in talking to me and even held my hand and kissed me, albeit somewhat restrained. So from 1am to 4:30am I slept. When I couldn't sleep anymore I got up thinking I could sleep in if I got my work done early. As soon as I sat down at the computer you jumped in to bed and taking it over and snoring so loudly I have not slept since... I now suffer in silence. Why you do this when you know I have to get up early I just don't understand. You say you care about me, you stopped saying you love me a month ago when I told you I was leaving, but your actions are so indifferent, so uncaring. I'm so tired. So tired of feeling like I constantly inconvenience you when you aren't all that f-ing helpful to my life. I work my butt off taking care of you. I have since even before your accident. Coming over on weekends bringing groceries and cleaning up. Since you accident - dropping everything to be by your side, spent endless amounts of money on clothes and food and gas and anything else you needed. Driving you to work and back - taking 6 hours of my life on just that to come home and cook you a meal and wash your dishes. This was our home, yes it was yours first but it became ours when we worked together. Discord came in the shape of your step brother and Ours became Yours. He also showed me a side of you I didn't think existed... and created doubt where once there was none... You talk about him but then spend hours with him - do you do the same to me? You never give a straight answer anymore, always appear to be hiding something (always your feelings) and I'm not sure how I can be with you without trust. It is the one thing I always counted on - your honesty. You tell me you need time and I give it to you but then you don't appear to be happy of course you aren't happy when it takes a little longer to give you that time either. I can't win. I'm tired of trying. All I want is something simple. The same I give you - honesty, trust, respect, love, affection and some f-ing SLEEP!
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